Look at what Nvidia’s DLSS 5 did to my girl Professor Hecat from Hogwarts Legacy: 

Look at her! She went from a distinguished 65-year-old woman teaching young wizards how to defend against the Dark Arts to a 165-year-old gremlin! I didn’t even know humans could produce that many wrinkles. 

Is this where all of the world’s RAM is going, Jensen? So that you and your cohorts can make Grace remember to put on some lipstick and mascara before going back to the place where her mom was murdered? This is your future of video games? To screw over artists and allow Bethesda to be even lazier in their game development? Did you stop to think that maybe, just maybe, this isn’t what gamers actually want, Jensen? That maybe, with all of Nvidia’s trillions, this wasn’t the right move? To quote the great Conan O’Brien, “Maybe you should spend a little less time leather jacket shopping and come up with a new move.”

To then have the audacity to say that all of us are “completely wrong,” and that no, this is actually a great thing for both developers and gamers alike, is just…unfathomably out of touch. Yes, I know, the tech oligarchs have inflated this A.I. bubble to the point where they have no choice but to inject A.I. into everything, force-feeding the masses with slop every waking minute of every day, so none of this should come as a surprise. And Nvidia, who are ostensibly the manufacturer of the aforementioned bubble, must have something to show for it. This is not that something. 

Also, no matter how much PR they’re spewing now after the fallout about how “developers have full control” and that this technology isn’t going to “change the geometry” of assets within games—it’s bullsh*t. Videos and articles are already circulating about how many in the development pipeline of some of these games were unaware of DLSS 5’s implementation. It’s clear exactly how much, from an artistic point of view, this technology changes the look and tone of characters and environments. Doing so in a manner that looks no better than an Instagram A.I. slop filter.  

Please, Nvidia, I beg you, stop it—get some help.